Not Such Deep Thoughts; Special Decking The Halls Edition

The last couple of weeks I’ve spent an inordinate amount of my free time either decking the halls, or aimlessly wandering through malls. Neither activity ranks very highly on the old berry funometer, but it has given me a lot of time to think (uh-oh…), and now it’s time to share those thoughts with you, if only to exorcise them from my brain. So, without further ado, I bring you a Special Decking The Halls Edition of Not Such Deep Thoughts:


Come on Randy, you better watch out. Santa knows that you’ve been dogging it, and pouting, and if things keep going like they’ve been going, I see a lump of coal in your future. On the other hand, were you to start hustling and playing through to the whistle, you just might be spending this holiday season with visions of a shiny new ring dancing in your head. From here on in, try thinking of each catch as a layaway payment towards the big bling.


Every time I go up in the attic, I smash my head on something. Get the tree, smash my head. Look for ornaments, smash my head. Bloody gashes on my dome are not a good look for me.


The Sox have given us an early present with the acquisition of Lackey and Cameron. Adrian Gonzalez would be the capper Theo, but please don’t go giving up Ellsbury to make it happen. Dump Buchholz if you want, but not Ellsbury.


Why on God’s green earth are the plugs on the pre-strung lights that are attached to our tree labeled C8, C12, C26 and G2, and why are the labels on 3 of the 4 marked with different colored dots? There are only 2 outlets on the main cord, and neither one is labeled or colored. I really wish I could find those directions…


I usually like Target’s holiday commercials. In previous years they’ve always been fast paced, colorful and set to infectious music. This year’s campaign is just depressing. I know they’re trying to pound home the “good deals in a bad economy” theme, but they just feel uncomfortable. I can’t help thinking that the families are going to erupt into a knock down drag out domestic dispute at any moment. “You bought a flat panel TV? I thought we discussed overspending” and “You spent too much, I’m really not that into you” are not the stuff of holiday memories, they're just creepy and depressing. Is it how Christmas plays out in a lot of families? Yes, but who wants to be reminded of that.


And speaking of bad holiday commercials, how about that strange one for the Kindle? You know the one; it has a woman who morphs from a mustachioed magician to Daniel Boone firing a musket, and its set to a sickly sweet song called “Fly me away”. The woman in the commercial is actually an Amazon contest winner who wrote the jingle herself, and as impressive as that is, it just doesn’t seem to fit the product to me. I get the whole “Kindle can bring you a gazillion different books and fly your mind away to wherever you want to go” thing, very artsy-fartsy, but the first few times I saw it I honestly thought it was going to be an ad for Southwest or Jet Blue. Besides, the Kindle is a sexy device; you need to show it off. You see it for about 2 seconds at the beginning of the commercial, then nothing but unrelated fluff for the rest of the spot. The money would have been better spent on a close up of the device as it changed screens between countless newspapers, magazines and books. Simple and to the point.


The best Christmas album ever made is Vince Guaraldi’s “A Charlie Brown Christmas”. It’s a must have for your collection. Don’t just dismiss it as a silly cartoon soundtrack, the man was a genius. The album is comprised of full versions of those all too familiar snippets from the cartoon, and his piano work floats and soars through each track against a backdrop of incredible jazz bass and percussion. The recording quality is fantastic, to boot. When I listen to it, it feels as if each note reaches in and gently massages the stress centers of my brain.


Malls suck during the holidays. They’re hot and crowded, the parking lots are like a demolition derby, and the food courts are like a middle school mixer.


I’m off now until the start of the New Year, and there’s nothing like it. It allows me to slow the pace down and actually enjoy the holidays. I’d been slogging my way towards this break like a Foreign Legionnaire slowly making his way towards an oasis, sand sucking at my feet with every step, a prayer on my lips that it was not a mirage I was seeing on the horizon. This past year has not been a memorable one on a lot of fronts, and now that I’ve finally made it to the finish, it feels like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. As a great man, and one of my role models growing up, once said; “Nothin to do but eat and sleep… and live off the fat of the land. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.”

If you’re listening Santa, all I want for Christmas this year is some quality family time and rest. Lots and lots of rest.


That is all.

The Summer Of A Thousand Beaches

All the rain we’ve had this spring and summer (if you can even call them that) has gotten me thinking about a summer a few years back that was really special to me. Whenever I think back on it, or reminisce about it with my wife, I refer to it as (cue the deep voiced announcer…) “The Summer Of A Thousand Beaches”.

Ok, so maybe it wasn’t really a thousand beaches that we visited that summer, and for that matter, maybe it wasn’t technically limited to the traditional June, July and August summer months, but there were a lot of them, and it was always summer where we were that year.

The year was 2001, and it was one of those serendipitous years where everyone was happy and healthy, and family, work and vacations all blended together perfectly to put us into a 7 month summer cycle. The cycle started in late February with our annual visit with my Dad in Fort Myers (baseball and beaches!). After a brief stop at home for clean skivvies, we were off to the left coast. Back to base camp again, and then off to Miami and points south. Home once again, just in time to kick off our New England summer.

Here are the beaches we hit, in chronological order, no less:

Gulf Coast

Sanibel/Captiva Island
Fort Myers Beach
Lovers Key
Naples


Pacific

Venice Beach
Santa Monica
Will Rodgers Beach
Point Dume
Zuma Beach


Atlantic

South Beach
Key Biscayne
John Pennekamp Coral Reef State Park, Key Largo
Marathon
Long Beach, Rockport
Good Harbor Beach, Gloucester
Katama/South Beach, Edgartown
Joseph Silvia State Beach, Oak Bluffs
Tisbury Town Beach
Menemsha Public Beach
Lobsterville Beach
Nahant Beach
Lynn Beach
Salem Willows


The above are just the beaches we actually walked, sat and swam at, there were many more that summer that we either had dinner overlooking, or just gazed at from the parking areas or highways.

You’re probably thinking “This guy must have been a baked potato after the first couple of weeks”. Nope. We’re not out early; lay on the beach kind of people. Working, visiting or sightseeing came first, with the beaches as a late afternoon treat, and sunscreen and hats were essential to all our journeys.

We really enjoy ending our day surrounded by the beauty and majesty of the ocean. Nothing can make you so conscious of what a very small piece of the world’s puzzle you are as the roaring ocean, and it really helps to drain away all the tensions of our days.

Come on ’09, give it up. I’m losing precious time…

Where's All Da Food?

O yah, da stoopid hoomans haz sent back some foter grafs. theyse down at da bottom of da page in a slide show.

hurry back hoomans, and bringz food!

da katz

Special Guest Bloggers!

iPhone OS3: Gotta Have It, Gonna wait.

Apple’s long awaited iPhone OS3 is out, and although I really want to download and install it right now, I’ve decided to hold off for a while.

The reason? In a word; vacation.

Yup, I’m a chicken. I’ve already got my digital bags packed, so to speak, and I’m not taking any chances this late in the game. My 2nd gen Touch has podcasts, videos, games, and most importantly, a boat load of music on it, plus all of my contacts and personal email accounts. This will be my first “downtime only” trip in a long while, and there’s no way I’m brickin’ that thing just before I leave.

There are always initial problems with any new iTunes or iPod upgrade, and here’s why: There’s no way on Earth for Apple to test on every possible configuration out there, because there’s just too many of them.

Different computer platforms with different operating systems at different version levels, running different apps (also with different version levels), coupled with different iPod models running different apps (also at different version levels!), makes almost every iPod user unique, and creating a one size fits all product for them is a mind boggling task.

The trick is to hold off until Apple has time to address all the little glitches that surface after a major release. It would be a double upgrade for me. First, I’d have to upgrade to iTunes 8.2.23, then iPhone OS3.

In Apple’s iPod Touch discussions thread there are 163 pages of user comments regarding problems with WiFi signal strength and speed after upgrading.

In the iTunes discussions thread there are 83 pages of comments regarding iTunes not recognizing both iPhone and Touch devices after upgrade.

So, while downloading movies via WiFi, or playing the iPod through the car’s stereo via Bluetooth would be very welcome additions on a road trip, I’m going to pass for now. Last minute problems would really harsh my vacation mellow, and that just wouldn’t do.


That is all.